First day isnt going to be my last

First of all I just want everyone to know that I absolutely love the color red now because if you followed my last blog you read that we have come to the realization that chloes favorite color must have been red for sure.  : )  Also maybe all you mamas know this but I could spell anything...was actually the best speller in my family but I cant spell for nothing since I gave birth to my daughter.  Blesss!!

Yesterday was our first day back to work...it went well keeping me busy.  After being at work till 4 my sweet sisters met me at carolines house to paint pumpkins for chloe.  We are going to put them on her grave thursday.  After that we came home and I had my moment when everything got calm and I broke and cried but I know that is normal and will happen but I dont like it to happen of course.  I appreciate everyones thoughts and prayers yesterday between phone calls and texts and of course my coworkers and residents.  Speaking of residents one of residents who I would have never thought cared came up to me and sat on one of the seats in the hall and kept looking at me as if he wanted to ask me something.  I told him hey and I know he wanted to ask me something about the baby.  He said did you have the baby and I told him we lost her and he looked at me with tearful eyes and gave me a hug.  All he kept telling me was im so sorry and it brought tears to my eyes knowing he cared! 

Tonight I have been doing so well.  My husband is the greatest making me laugh when I need to laugh and knowing just what to say when I need to say it.  I actually was able to come home and be by myself for 3 hours.  I know that sounds crazy but that is extremely difficult for me since I havent been by myself for longer than 15 minutes since September 19th.  I know one thing too is that I def wouldnt make it if it wasnt for my husband, my family and friends.  Everyone has truely walked into my life exactly when I need them and I know more than ever that there is truely only one person who can do that and that is God.  If it wasnt for my faith I wouldnt be here.
Thanks again for reading!