Christmas Blessing

Hi everyone.  Please let me start by saying how much I apologize for not blogging in over a month.  I have been so busy and like I have told everyone I believe my body is finaly telling me I need to slow down because I am now sick.  Have no fear people I dont believe I have anything that is contagious! I just feel like someone has punched me in the side of my head and this morning I sounded like an 80-year old man.  No fun!! 

This past month has been nothing short of a rollercoaster ride.  My emotions alone have been enough for Steven and I both.  I am truely blessed to have such an amazing support system throughout all of this.  (As if I havent said that enough) :) Just in the last week I have been working on wreaths...which I started not to long ago.  Not too many people know I do them but I love doing them.  I love seeing the beauty in them when they are finished.  My sister showed me how to do them and I have been doing them ever since. 

Last week we recieved a phone call from my mother in law telling us that stevens uncle kirk wasnt doing well and they thought he was going to go to be with my chloe.  That night we went over to his house and they took him to the hospital and had all kinds of infection built up in his lungs.  Now rewind back to months before when the doctor told him he was going to need surgery for cancer.  They were going to have to put a stint in his vein, and heart I believe and the doctor told him that he may not make it through the surgery.  Now back to now...two days ago they did the surgery and he ended up having a stroke and a blood clot to his brain which left him brain dead and hemorrhaging.  They had him on life support until yesterday when they took him off and this morning around 8:30am uncle kirk went on to be with the Lord and my chloe.  The last thing I told him was "Please take care of my chloe till I get to hold her again"

I have never been so busy during any Christmas season as I am this season.  I cant believe how fast Christmas is coming.  Christmas is in little over a week away.  Wow!  I believe all of my friends and family are definetly trying to keep me busy to keep my mind from thinking to much and I really do appreciate it.  I have always loved being busy.  My husbands grandfathers is one of my inspirations to stay busy.  This man is 84 years old with CHF (Congestive Heart Failure) and still runs a farm everyday.  I pray everyday I am that motivated to still go. 

This week I have recieved so many blessings.  Everytime I have asked my father he has provided for me.  Not that I doubted that he would...its just amazing how much I have been blessed with this week.  Just yesterday I know was going to be an emotional day for me because it was my good friend donnies birthday.  He is in heaven with my chloe and his birthday is always a hard day for me and of course his family and friends.  Well I went to go eat breakfast with my mommies group and was kind of bummed more than I normally would be and I knew there was a reason why.  Well I called steven when I left and thats when he told me about Uncle Kirk and I started crying.  I came home still upset and starting to not feel well but I knew I had to get some stuff done. I started thinking of all the stuff I had to still get done  before Christmas and was thinking of how we didnt have the money to do it with till we got paid again.  Well on my way out to run some errands I checked the mail and in the mailbox was one piece of mail and it was from my ob.  I was thinking great another bill.  It wasnt it was a check.  What a blessing that I needed at this time.  Tomorrow will be 1 year ago that I vowed to love honor and cherish a great Godly man and we can now do something on our anniversary instead of paying bills and I believe miss chloe had something to do with that. Earlier today I got a message from my friend samantha that told me she wanted to send something to me and needed my address so of course I gave it to her.   Just about 30 mins ago I sent out a message to all of my good friends and family on facebook talking about the random acts of kindness I was hoping people would particpate in memory of my chloe and not but maybe 15 mins ago samantha suprised me with what she was going to be sending me.  Telling me that she made chloe a stocking.  This brought tears of joy to my eyes.  I had been praying for God to someone how show me the perfect stocking for my chloe and he not only showed me the perfect stocking but also the amazing person who sent.  Samantha I know I have told you a million times now but thank you once again.  I will leave you with one more thing before I go to bed I am finally seeing things in what I would hope God wants me to see them in.  I had to be honest so many questions as to why this had to happen to me.  Why did I have to lose my baby?  I of course hate that it took me seeing what is meant to be in this way.  I have heard people say and I dont want people to think it upset me because it didnt...turn around and say to me dont you think God wouldnt do what he did if he was truely what everyone says he is.  Trust and believe I turn right back to them and say my God did this for a reason and I may not know why now but with me knowing who he is and believing there was a reason for this I will see my daughter again and I will know then.  I hope yall have a Merry Christmas and A Happy New Year...I of course hope to write again before then but just in case I dont get to.  Love yall and God Bless!