Hi everyone just about had a mini heartattack just a minute ago. I thought someone deleted my blogger account when they hacked into my email. You wouldve heard me screaming from whereever you are.
So I just wanted to take this time to ask for everyone's prayers as I have applied to become a parent coordinator for Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep.  For those of you who don't know NILMDTS is a non profit organization where professional photographers volunteer their services for free to families who have lost children due to death.  Most of you know that this was the wonderful organization that was brought up to me by Katie Henson and April Kapcha, two dear childhood friends of mine when my husband and I lost our daughter.  If it wasn't for Chanda Pope and her gift I would not have such beautiful pictures/memories of our daughter.  Becoming a parent coordinator I would be doing the following: assist the local Area Coordinator, local photographer recruitment (finding photographers who are willing to volunteer their services), help bring awareness of our program to the hospitals and local community (which is one of the main reasons I want to do this.  I believe the hospitals should offer these services in the event this happens as soon as the patient feels comfortable), work with local media to talk about our services and local families serve  , local fundraising – assist or participate in local events to help raise funds for NILMDTS,  and help hospitals locate local photographers when sessions are needed (if there is no area coordinator or when filling in for the coordinator). I have been praying that they accept me for this position that I want to raise awareness as much as possible.  I knew I wanted to raise awareness one way or another for why things like this have to happen. I am going to volunteer for the March of Dimes as much as possible as well. I am going to be an advocate for mothers and fathers having to go through losing a child like my husband and I. Thank you in advance for the prayers. Love and miss you Chloe.


Love Ashley

Whats next...

Wow do I have so much to blog about but dont know how to put it in words (or lack of sleep might have something to do with it.) I feel like I havent blogged in forever and this makes me sad.  So where do I begin...

First off I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas.  Steven and I couldn't believe how fast our favorite holiday came and went.  I wanted to thank everyone again that participated in chloe's stocking.  Having so many people do so many things for others in memory of our sweet Chloe was the greatest gift I received all Christmas long.  Words cant describe how much we appreciate every single thoughtful idea everyone did.  Here stocking was overflowing (literally I had to take most of them out) All thanks a million times over to Samantha for making this beautiful stocking for us.  Samantha you really are a blessing. I really hope to do this again every year in memory of Chloe that way every year her stocking wont hang empty and in hopes that people will have a whole bunch of random acts of kindness to do.  Like I said before Christmas seemed like such a blur to us because we were so busy and im sure that God and chloe had something to do with that.  They both know that keeping us busy keeps our minds off being sad and im sure they didnt want us sad during our favorite time of the year.  Lets just say that I hope that next year im able to get my Christmas decorations put up before New Year's Day. 

After Christmas I thought everything would slow down...well I thought wrong.  Three days after Christmas one of the sweetest gifts of all came into my life in the form of a 6lb 19inches long beautiful baby girl.  My sweet niece Ryleigh Addison:

There isn't a single day I don't look at this sweet face and think of my precious Chloe but I wouldn't change that for the world. I love love love being this babies aunt.  If I cant be with my baby right now I will just spoil the heck out of her. :) Sorry Megan.

Just last week I had my niece and nephew (my brothers kids for those of you who dont know) and they were able to meet Ryleigh and this picture has stole my heart:

 I always say there's all my babies minus one when I show everyone this picture.  I noticed the last time I saw this picture that there is a tiny bit of light on Ryleigh's foot that I say is Chloe in this picture. :)

Last friday stevens grandmother fell and broke her leg.  This is the grandmother that lives across the street from us.  She had to have surgery and is now in rehab.  Everyone please say a prayer for her so she may have a speedy recovery.  Problem is recovery isnt going as well as planned.  See stevens grandmother has dementia and it is hard for her to remember that she cant walk.  This frustrates her that she cant remember that she cant walk and the fact that she cant walk.  Both of stevens grandparents are always on the go. His grandfather is such an inspiration to anyone he is in his 80's and has CHF (Congestive Heart Failure) and still runs a farm everyday.  He has good days and bad days and it has been just as hard on him since stevens grandma has been in rehab because being without her has put him at such a loss. Which if steven and I had been married for as long as they have (50+) and I was without steven for just one night Im sure I would be lost as well. 

One thing that has been really heavy on my heart is the other day I was scrolling through status' on facebook "facebook stalking" haha.  One status in particular made me stop one of my friends from high school's caught my eye.  One of my friends friends a girl I dont even know had lost her baby at 8 weeks. Upon reading her status it weighed so heavy on my heart.  I told my friend I really needed to get in touch with this girl.  I still dont know why to this day God led me to talk and pray upon her but I did.  I messaged her and found out her name is Amanda.  Her and her boyfriend have one little girl already but lost their second baby at 8 weeks.  She had to go to the hospital and have a D & C and this broke my heart.  I prayed and prayed all day long.  My heart was broke into a million pieces all over again for this girl.  The way my heart has been heavy on this sweet girl you would think we were sisters.  We have been messaging and texting since the day she lost the baby.  We are becoming the best of friends.  Pray for this sweet girl please.

Like I have said before I am asking everyone to please say a prayer for me and my family.  We have a lot going on and I in between working my full time job, helping with my sweet niece, and helping with Stevens grandparents have found this very challenging for Steven and I but we know God is the only one who put us in the position we are in now.  There is a reason for everything and we don't know what that reason is now but we will know or we may not when we get to heaven.  Thank you all for continuing to be by our side as we still grieve often and miss our baby more than everything.  We just keep the faith and know that we will see her again and all of our other loved ones.  Love you all. God Bless.